Why Talk About The Past?
The past is in the past and you can’t change it.
Shouldn’t you just move forward?
I understand the concern.
Let’s think about it this way.
Have you ever wiped out while riding a bike? Or fallen while running down a hill? Maybe recently or as a young person? I am not talking about a little fall.
I mean the ones where you get dirt, gravel and rock wedged into the skin. It's a bloody, dirty, sweaty mess. And there is a flap of skin that was once connected to your body just hanging there.
Once you get your faculties about you, you need to decide what to do next and how to care for this wound.
If this was a smaller injury, you might put a band-aid on it or not even that. It will heal on its own. In a week or month you hardly even remember the fall happened.
But this isn’t that. This is a big wound with debris stuck on it and in it.
In order for it to heal properly, you may need to go to the doctor, have her pick out every last bit of gravel, clean it out, and bandage it up well. It might even require stitches. Yes, going to the doctor is a nuisance. Yes, it will hurt when there are cold, metal tweezers in your open wound. But going through the pain now will let you live a happy, healthy life going forward.
However, in this hypothetical, you didn’t do that.
You were taught to treat the big wounds just like the small ones.
You put a band-aid on the gaping wound. Over the dirt and debris. On top of the sweat and blood. Your body wants to heal itself so it tries to grow new skin but pus and bacteria form and the wound is infected.
But sweeping problems under the rug is a common family trait passed down to each generation. Your mind says, “Infection? No, I don’t have an infection. The fall was not that bad. I’m fine.”
Yeah, you are not fine. You are getting worse. The whole area is hard to move and now the surrounding tissue has become infected as well.
At this point, there is only one way to proceed. You have to see a doctor and have her take off the layers of small bandages you tried to put on, open up any skin that tried to cover it up, scrape out the damaged tissue, clean out the puss and stitch you up.
Difficult things happen to all of us.
There are situations that require more care than just a small band-aid. Maybe your wound just happened or maybe it has been festering for a while. Either way, there is a natural healing process that wants to take place to heal your mind and emotions. We are not meant to be depressed, sad, anxious and feeling alone. We are meant to heal and thrive. Although many of us were not taught to talk about our problems, it is surprising how well this medicine works.
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